|
Do you always have a story?
All procrastination is the result of us fooling ourselves. We always have a story why we have not completed a task or have not achieved the success we want. Procrastination lets us deny reality, refusing to accept responsibility for our lives. To eliminate procrastination you need to stop playing games with yourself. You won’t stop procrastinating until you accept the fact that you are responsible for your life. That may be more honesty than many people are capable of, but there is no other way to achieve a richer life.
The first step toward overcoming procrastination is recognizing that it's a problem. Everyone has big problems and small problems, but most problems are made worse by procrastinating and not addressing them.
Does any of the following sound like your story….
- You know what you should do about a problem, and in many cases you know what specific action needs to be taken. But you still find reasons to avoid action.
- You are reluctant to do anything about a problem now, but vow to take action at some vague time in the future.
- You promise to take action when the "right" circumstances present themselves. By making the “action” dependent on something else, you justify your decision to take no action. You tell yourself that your hands are tied. You would like to do something but can't so it's not your fault.
Research has shown that you can develop new habits in just two weeks if you're serious about changing. Think about people you know who always get things done. What are their work habits? How do they approach unappealing tasks? How do they stay focused?
We are not victims of our circumstances. You can overcome procrastination now, you can do the things that need to be done. Also you can learn to distinguish between the things that need to be done now and the things that can wait.
If you’re not where you want to be in life, take a hard look at yourself and make sure you’re not someone who always has a “story” about why it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t come through
on the job or address that problem. I am certain that if you’re someone that delivers results and not procrastination stories, you will be well on your way to creating a better life and achieving the success you desire.
*************************************************
Curbing negative thoughts….
Consider this scenario: You are about to go onstage in front of hundreds of people to give a speech. Your lips are quivering, your hands are sweating, your stomach seems to be infested with millions of butterflies, and you feel like you are on the verge of fainting. Familiar? Those are the telltale signs that one is nervous or feeling utterly uncomfortable.
If you believe that mantras, or the act of repeatedly telling yourself stuff, like “I’m not nervous” or “I can do this” can alleviate your nervousness – better think again. Contrary to what most people believe and practice, doing so only intensifies the tension. Think of it this way: if one is already aware that he is nervous, then there is really no sense in making himself believe that he isn’t because; he’ll only end up looking like a fool.
And, so, you wonder, what then should one do to alleviate his or her tension? The answer is quite simple and something that you wouldn’t have expected. You just have to try channelling your energy towards something else.
Don’t dwell on your negative thoughts and feelings, but, instead, try to divert the spotlight away from yourself. Make an effort to think about how your performance would affect the audience, how good you’ll feel after the presentation, and how self-satisfying it would be to hear the audience applaud after all has been said and done.
It’s just the same when we deal with negative thoughts. Telling yourself “I will never do it again” won’t get you anywhere. You know why? It’s because humans are innately affected by reverse psychology. There are times that the more we tell ourselves not to do it, the more chances that we end up doing it. In short, those kinds of things usually backfire and end up shooting us right in the face. Practically and realistically, it’s all just a matter of refocusing and changing one’s perspective.
As the saying goes, “the grass is greener on the other side”, so when you feel like you are on the unpleasant side, refocus your thinking and try to see what the other option has to offer. Try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. In relation to the scenario previously given, the grass on the other side is the audience.
If you are the audience, you would be pleased if the one who is going to give a speech or perform on the stage is someone who has self-confidence, determination and spirit to give his or her very best, wouldn’t you? In that case, having the drive to give your audience a sense of fulfillment is your trail towards achieving your own self-fulfillment.
Again, the perks of selflessness become evident in this situation. By thinking of how others would feel, of how others would benefit from what you are doing, that will be the moment you will be unchained from bunched up negative feelings.
***********************************************
5 steps of change…
We all experience change in our lives. Sometimes the change is one we want like giving up some bad habits or changing careers. Sometimes it is changes we don’t want like loosing a job or a loved one.
I’m going to talk about the changes we choose to make in our lives. Many people will decide to make a change but either can’t or won’t follow through and make the change permanent. I believe this is because they didn’t follow the “change process”. Yes just like there is a process for almost everything there is a 5 step process for change. The 5 steps we all must do to insure change are: Awareness, Understanding, WIIFM, Commitment and Habit.
Awareness is the “what and why” of our change. What is it that we want to change and why do we want to change. Say for instance you want to be a better husband, think about what can make you a better husband and why do you want to be better.
Understanding in the “how and when” of our change. Without understanding how we are going to implement the change, we have no way starting. In my example how are you going to be a better husband? Will you help your wife more, compliment her more or just be a nicer guy and when will I start.
The next step, WIIFM is a very important step. WIIFM stands for “what’s in it for me”, without a reason for you to change you won’t change. So knowing what you get for changing is as important as the change itself. By being a better husband maybe you get a better relationship overall or maybe just sharing more fun together.
After you know the WIIFM, the next thing is Commitment. It is what you tell yourself about you commitment to change it’s your internal agreement to follow though.
The final step is Habit and it is the step that ensures your change sticks. There is a saying that says if you do anything for 21 days it will become a habit. That is what you need to do to make sure your change becomes part of you, make an effort to do it everyday until it become habit. The next time you want to change something remember the 5 steps of the change process. Use awareness, understanding, WIIFM, commitment and habit and you will find you change to be much easier.
******************************************************************
Do you follow or lead?
Do you know how lemmings behave? They move in groups; they follow the pack.
Don’t you feel that most people are like lemmings? Many stay at the sideline waiting for brave souls to go in first. If they smell success, they jump in and join. Many wanted only to follow the direction that the crowd takes, rather than dare to trek the road less traveled.
Successful people are usually the first in the field. They are not crowd followers but crowd leaders. By the time other people jump on the band wagon the crowd leaders have either become leaders of the field or have moved on to different pursuits.
Being the first in the field many successful people employ unorthodox, eccentric, unconventional ways and ‘out of the ordinary’ actions. Their actions are often times hailed as innovative and creative, for they were the first to think about them. These people are so determined to make it to the top that they push themselves to think out of the box to address seemingly insurmountable difficulties so that they may be able to overcome obstacles.
You need not always be conventional. It is okay to try out uncommon approaches to solve a problem as long as these are within legal, moral and ethical rules, and as long as no one gets hurt in the process. Oftentimes, people judge pioneers harshly; other people perceive them as going nuts and losing their marbles for pursuing a different approach.
The same thing is true when it comes to the attainment of your goal. If you want to achieve success in life, try to be different. When was the last time you acted differently in pursuit of something you want? At times, it may be true that problems require unconventional solutions. Would you hesitate to be unconventional for fear of being an object of ridicule, even if your goal to success is on the line? The answer lies within you.
Successful people take CALCULATED risks as they pursue different approaches. They have gone through all the choices and painstakingly studied all details before deciding on the best option. Decisions are not based on tossed coins, for this is not a game of heads or tails.
If you will analyze it, acting unconventionally requires more brain activity than just going with the trend. For one, you have to look all possible alternatives, where merely following is just like copying what the others have previously done. Less mental activity is required when you just follow others.
So, how do you assess yourself? Are you a lemming or a risk taker? Do you follow the crowd or dare to be different? Do you take the conventional path or the road less traveled?
********************************************************
Want to change…just start
We all say we want to change something in our lives but most of us never do. Why? It’s generally not because we don’t want to.
We may want to be a better ______________ (fill in the blank) but we just don’t get there.
One reason is we don’t really know what it is we want. We haven’t defined what our “ideal” life would be. Without a picture of the ideal we cannot make it real in our life. This is just like if you wanted to build a house. Do you just go to Home Depot, buy some wood and nails then go home and start nailing boards together…no way. You build it to a plan and a vision.
So why do we think making and change in our life can be done without a plan or at least an idea of what our ideal life would be?
What is it you want to change? Can you see it in your mind? I have read a lot about visualization and it seems some “experts” say you should write them down and reaffirm them daily. I’m not a big believer in daily affirmations. Because if we get a vision of the ideal in our minds we should be able to carry through. Our minds are the most powerful computers in the universe, why do we need to write it down to remember. But if you write it down and don’t act on it the affirmations are useless.
It you can define your ideal life and visualize it, you can live it. I don’t mean that just sitting around visualizing being rich is going to attract riches to you either. I believe that visualization attracts you to riches not the other way round. I believe it is because you are visualizing your ideal life, opens your mind to opportunities and lets you be more receptive to them. And by riches I don’t mean only money. There are many things in life that will enrich it besides money.
So you got the visualization part down….you have the picture of your ideal life and you want to make it real. How do you do that??
You start is how you do it. You think about being the person you have in your mind. You then be that person.
You will become that person by always moving forward toward the ideal in your mind. By constantly moving toward your ideal you will make it real.
So if you want to change something….JUST START! You don’t need a new years resolution to change…..you only need to start. A new year is waiting for the new you.
↑ Back to Top
|